Fatherhood

by Lawrence

sadfaceclub.parenthood

"Space: the final frontier" to quote Byron

I've been thinking a lot about space since becoming a dad a year ago. It's infinite and remote, with 10,000 billion wrong or pointless directions to get lost in. I've felt for years my life has been spinning out of orbit, taking me to places I never thought I'd go - good and very bad. And then little Ayla tumbled onto the scene.

I'm your pretty average early 30s, Jewish, balding male from Las Vegas via Encino, LA. I’m swimming in neurosis and irrational confidence and also stifled by an indefinable longing and self doubt. Or so I tell my shrink (who looks satisfyingly like Phil Collins).

But since Ayla, I've started to feel gravity. I now feel a constant pull I've after floating nowhere leisurely. Something beyond me and my usual crappery to revolve around. A planet full of untainted hope and possibilities, and I discovered her!

Yes there's butt - loads of responsibility and there will be forever and life will never be the same. But there’s a little centre to my universe, that’s dependant on me. She brings me back down to earth when I drift, her perfection rubbing off on me daily, a little nucleus. And hopefully that will be the case for the rest of my life.  Cause let's face it, too much space sucks.


Love from Larry & Ayla